Need
by Wega the blue sun
Summary: Shin's feelings towards Yuria


Need 

A Fist of the North Star (Hokuto No Ken) fan fiction

No copyright infringement intended, these characters aren't mine. The story is mine, however.

Shin's feelings towards Yuria

Need

I see you standing on the balcony of our palace. You are looking at the dazzling vista of the city I built in your honor. My queen ...The sun caresses your lovely features and pours liquid gold over your silhouette.

The slight smile on your lips is telling me that you haven't noticed my presence yet. As soon as you become aware of me that smile disappears and a frown takes its place.  
It's because you find my company distasteful.

This rejection is hurtful to me because you are the woman I love, have always loved and will love until death rips me away from your side. Are you aware of this passion burning inside me? You must be, because I've told you so often.

I am a passionate man, you must know this. The passion for you defines my very life.  
It is my destiny to live in love and die for love, it is written in the stars. I accept that - no, I embrace it.

My destiny was told to me when I was just a child. One would think that a young boy might not care for such a revelation, but I was thrilled. After all, I already loved you. I've loved you for as long as I can remember.

To realize that this love was my destiny cleared a path in my thoughts. My goal in life was to make you love me, to earn your love. And I swore to myself I would do whatever was necessary.

Any casual observer would say that I've succeeded in everything I've ever attempted. Look at me and see the King of Southern Cross, the shining city in the desert. I am a master of Nanto Seiken and have the most beautiful woman in the world by my side.  
I am surrounded by all the trappings of wealth, fame and success. Envy my handsome face, my power, my achievements. But do not look too close, for there are cracks in the facade.

For all that I've done and made and accomplished one thing continues to elude me. The overwhelming need to gain your love drives me to do more and more. You are what I need, Yuria. You are all I need.

Your love is the one thing lost to me because you deny me. I cannot force you to love me, not that I would want to. I want your full affection given freely with an open heart. I want you to need me, to desire me as desperately as I desire you.

But there is no desire in your eyes, they grow cold at the sight of me. There is no smile on your lovely lips when you are with me. Your beautiful mouth doesn't speak the gentle words I long to hear. You barely even speak my name, as if the very word was distasteful to you. Your soft hands don't caress me, your magnificent body doesn't offer itself to me, hungry for my touch.

I haven't laid a finger on you since the day I tore you away from Ken's side.  
I have never made love to you, never seen your naked body exept in my dreams. I spend my waking moments thinking of how to make love to you. My dreams are haunted with images of us, finally united. Every morning I wake up exhausted and drained, as if from a fever.

Why don't you desire me? I know that I am handsome, so why should I not be proud of my looks? Women have always desired me, I have never been rejected. Only you have refused me. Can't you feel my need, my desperation? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be with me? Aren't you the slightest bit flattered by the attention and the wealth I've amassed for you?

Look at me, Yuria. I am a man in his prime. You are wasting my youth, my vigor, my life. And yours as well. What are you waiting for, my love? Was he that good? Did you love him so much that you can't muster any feelings for me? Has he taken up all the love you had and left only hate for me? Won't you ever tire of living for a dead man's memory?

What was it about him that inspired such dedication? I don't know why you'd feel this way because I proved to you that he was weak. He couldn't protect you. But I don't want to think about Ken right now, I don't want to remember what happened on that fateful day. Passion can make a man do strange and terrible things. It only goes to show you what I am capable of and what I am willing to do for the woman I love.

I wish I could read your thoughts, Yuria. What would I see if your heart and soul were open to me? But when I try to look into your eyes you avert your face. Standing close enough to feel the heat radiating off your body I can sense you shrinking from me. I desire to run my fingers through your silky hair and inhale your sweet scent. But there is only disgust and fear in your cold eyes when you withdraw to leave my side and my rejection is once again complete.

Things will not change between us because I will not change. Unless you ask me to change, and then yes, I will be glad to give whatever it is you wish for. Haven't you figured out that I would do anything at all to please you?

I know you hate me for what I've done, hate what I do now. Just ask me to stop the conquests, ask me to be kind if that is what you wish for. Give me a chance to prove myself to you. Give me hope that there is a chance to win you over.

Take pity on me, Yuria. I can't help myself, not that I want to. Without you my life has no meaning. Every day I get up in the hope that your resolve will finally crack, that you will open your heart to me.

I won't give up. I will not give up on you, the rejections only make me fight so much harder. I will have your love, Yuria. I will - I must. Please, love me.


End file.
